• Chris Platts

The Lumineers - Ho Hey

So here we are. It's been a year. 365 days. 8760 hours. 525600 minutes. However you look at it the pain doesn't go away. I lost a piece of me and I don't know if I'll ever get it back or recover from it. I still get flashbacks to the moment everything changed. It haunts me. Holding my son and pointing to the screen showing him his baby brother or sister. It was supposed to be one of the happiest moments ever. But the reaction from the doctor and the lack of movement turned everything into a nightmare. I'll not dwell on the actual day itself. I said what needed to be said about that in my other post (Brian Eno - An Ending). But it's still there. The dark cloud. Some days it's like the rain cloud in the distance, you know it's not going to come over you but it hangs around in the sky, just keeping you in check, making you carry an umbrella just in case. On the odd day it's like a monsoon. Nothing stops it coming and there's nothing you can do about it. The injury problems are not helping (See The Beatles - Yesterday). It's like they know when a bad day is coming along and gang up on me. Drowning me in a tidal wave of pain and anguish.

Well I do have a small defence against it...

Becky and Edward. My absolute world. The ones who are dragging me through life. Making sure I have a reason to get up in the morning. Just one smile from either brings that little ray of sunlight through the dark clouds. Becky has a tattoo on her arm of birds on a branch. Two large, one small, and one flying away. It's perfect. I love it. One thing that brings a tear to the eye is Edward saying 'bye bye birdy' and kissing it. I love it even more every time he does it. One day we'll let him know what it means. I just wish I could play with him more. Sitting on the side lines and watching him enjoy playing with others is not what I want. I think he understands. We have our moments cuddling watching dinosaurs and reading books. These moments definitely clear the skies. Regardless of how pain and hopelessness I might be feeling.

Becky is something else. She is my rock. My turtle. She drives me on to do better. To try and make the most of the good days. I honestly don't know how she does it. There are moments when she needs a cuddle, just like the rest of us, but she is strongest person I know. I know it's a cliché but she is the glue that is holding us together. Ever since we lost 'bye bye birdy' we've been trying to have another child. With the way my injury is, it's difficult for me to manage the pain and do what is required of me at the right times of the month. I think anyone else would have banged out months ago. I wouldn't have blamed her. But she's been there for every moment. Picking me off the floor, carrying me to bed, literally being the shoulder to lean on when my body fails me. She means absolutely everything to me.

This is where Ho Hey comes from. Regardless of everything thats gone wrong in the past 12 months. Bleeding out in physical and emotional pain. Love has brought us through this as a family. And although we are not clear of it by any stretch of the imagination. I belong with you, you belong with me. Ho...Hey...

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